On to the Supremes!

OK: How's this for a Pagan value? Equality under the law
To our gay and lesbian friends: I am so, so sorry.

To all the straight couples who enjoy rights that they do not: It's time to march with our friends.

Sia

Related Articles:

Justice Done and Justice Denied: A Dance for Mother Kali

Gay Weddings: What To Expect? How About An Economic Boom?

Certificate of Inequality

Karma, Love and Cage Free Eggs

Hate Crimes Towards The Other

San Diego Mayor Supports Gay Marriage

Inclusion and Acceptance

Differently Oppressed Folks Need Protection, Too

Image: Found here

Karma, Love and Cage-Free Eggs

There seems to be an interesting karmic juxtaposition in my life right now, one that involves the history of California, especially it's egg farms and immigrant history; a history which strongly influenced both the early hippies and a good many Pagans, if they would but know it. Add to that mix, old lovers, diamonds, Jewish law firms, and gay marriage.

I can explain.

I'm chatting with an old flame on the phone: We were together through much of college and grad school and after we parted, he went on to become quite successful in his chosen field. We reconnected four years ago after many years of silence between us. (It happens when you love each other for a long time but realize in the end that you both want very different things.) (1) Our renewal of friendship these many years later has been a grace note in my life. I've known very few people as gifted and powerful as he is now who are also good human beings. As things happened, we reconnected just before his sister became ill and eventually died of cancer, as mine had done some years before. Both of our sisters were addicts and alcoholics. Both got clean and sober before they died. Both needed our help to stay that way so they could find a good death and be ready for whatever comes next. If you've ever been glad to pay off a karmic debt to someone you'll know what I mean when I say that this reconnection and mutual support has been a source of healing for us both.

That night we were taking about his kids. I've never wanted children of my own, and I've never regretted that choice, but I'm very glad that he was able to have a family. Unlike his own dad, he is a very involved and loving father. Something in the conversational air - you may call it chance, I call it Goddess - caused me to ask about the child of another attorney and his wife, people I knew when I lived in Los Angeles. I remembered this couple fondly, in part because the woman was a teacher and one of the few people connected to The Firm who could talk about books and culture at all those legal dinners and cocktail parties, where I, a eco-feminist with a lit degree was very much a fish out of water. The boy's father was one of those "brain the size of a planet" folks who still managed to be humble, considerate and kind. (2) They were, as I remember, very good parents. That's not an easy thing to be when your prestige law firm requires you to work ungodly hours. The Firm had, as I remember, two unspoken tracks for women lawyers and since this was the early 80's they had precious few of those. One track let you have a reasonable work schedule and time with your family. The other allowed you to make partner. Your call. (3).

Support groups are filled with the children of this workaholic culture, many of whom have the infamous "hole in their soul" where a parent should be. But not, it seems, in this case. The little boy I remember so fondly is now a fine young man, and a lawyer himself. He and his partner recently got married or as married as you can be when you are gay and live in these United States. At their wedding they asked friends and family not to give gifts but to donate funds to support the fight against Proposition 8, which would deny the rights of gay and lesbians to marry. I haven't seen him since he was a child, but I must say, I'm glad to hear that he turned out so well.

The Pagan Sphinx has a post about Proposition 8 and the fight for gay marriage rights in this country. She writes:

Right now, the other side is out-raising us by a wide margin. Soon, their ads – undoubtedly filled with lies and distortions about Prop 8, about us and about our families – will be on the air. Our ads will tell the real story — how real families will be affected if Prop 8 passes. Their ads won’t.

Love and Cage-Free Eggs:

Currently, both Presidential candidates argue that "marriage is between a man and a woman". One supposes that they could not get elected if they did otherwise. Let us hope they open their hearts and minds.

I plan to keep an eye on this issue and on the fate of Proposition 2 in my old state, where farming is both personal and political. This proposition addresses cruelty in the caging of farm animals. We need to change the way chickens and other farm animals are treated in this country. The SF Chronicle writes:

The measure comes at a time when animal rights issues have grabbed the national spotlight, and the consumer demand for cage-free eggs has captured the attention of national chain stores and fast-food restaurants.

Supporters say not only will laying hens have healthier lives if they are raised in chicken houses where they are free to roam the floor, but the price of cage-free eggs will go down. Currently 5 to 8 percent of the eggs produced in the state come from cage-free chickens. California is responsible for about 6 percent of all the nation's table eggs, a $330 million industry in 2007.

Florida, Arizona, Colorado and Oregon have passed similar laws involving rights for swine and veal. But California's referendum is the first to demand that all egg-producing chickens in the state be cage free.

If this issue is important to you, look for organic, cage-free eggs when you go to the grocery store. Your body - and perhaps your karma - will be all the better for it.

Sia

Endnotes:

(1) He wanted to get married, stay in L.A. and have kids. I did not. Eventually, both of us went on to find the lifestyles that suited us and we each choose partners based on heart-sense and shared values as well as attraction and romance. Perhaps we had learned something from our time together that helped us make different choices the next time love was offered - I like to think so,

(2) He was such an interesting guy. Among other things, he had clerked for a Supreme Court judge right out of law school, and worked his way through Harvard by working for Jewish diamond merchants. His stories open my eyes to a closed and little known world and I credit these stories for my life-long interest in the history of jewelry making, gems and semi-precious stones. To this day, while I admire ancient and antique jewelry (and have attended gem and jewelry exhibits all over the world), I have always refused to own or wear diamonds. The cost is, quite literally, too high.

This particular law firm began because two Jewish lawyers could not get work in the traditional white shoe law firms of the 50's and 60's. It was an interesting mix of high minded social politics and fiscal conservatism. Most of the attorneys I met there were Republicans, which they saw as the "responsible" party when it came to matters of money and the economy. (Ironic, no?) In those days, my friend was one of the few Christians hired at this firm. Having lived a privileged WASP existence before that point (I would say it was charmed but not rich, he had to work his way through college and grad school just like the rest of us) he experienced for the first time what it was like to be a minority. A life long Republican (something that was the cause of some heated conversations between the two of us for many years) he will now be voting for Obama.

(3) My friend is now a senior partner and he has worked to change that. He admits, though, that while he is admired for being a dedicated father when he takes time off to coach or attend to his two son's sports events or takes family vacations, if a woman in this same law firm (and there are more of them now, thanks to him) does the same thing, she is still seen by the other attorneys there as "not quite committed to the team."

Photo: Diamond encrusted Faberge Egg and gold carriage from the Russian Gifts and Souvenirs website. These little eggs have a fascinating history, which you can read about at their website.

Related Articles:

The Organic Farming Movement: Trailblazers and Pioneers

Gay Weddings: What to Expect?

Certificate of Inequality

Hate Crimes Towards the Other

San Diego Mayor Supports Gay Marriage

Differently Oppressed Folks Need Protection Too

Links:

Shumei Natural Agriculture

Gay Weddings: What To Expect? How About An Economic Boom?

My friends in California tell me that the wedding business, something my husband refers to as the "Marital Industrial Complex" is thrilled at the thought of all those wonderful gay and lesbian weddings. Other states take note: This will indeed be a boon to the economy. Think of all those outfits, flowers, rings and cakes to be designed and bought. Not to mention all those presents. Not even to mention the honeymoon cruises and trips (the travel industry can't wait) and the halls rented, and all the money made from out-of-towners coming in to either attend a wedding of their dear friends or to have one of their own in one of California's beautiful (and tolerant) locations. (1)

As CNN notes:

"The good news for California is that in the face of probably the worst budget problems the state has ever faced, the LGBT wedding industry is going to be a financial shot in the arm," said Jeffrey Prang, mayor of West Hollywood, a popular destination for gay travelers in Southern California.

A study issued this week by UCLA's Williams Institute for Sexual Orientation and the Law projected that gay men and lesbians will spend $684 million on cakes, photographers and other services over the next three years unless voters reverse the high court's ruling in the fall.

The researchers found that about half of the state's more than 100,000 same-sex couples will get married during the next three years, and an additional 68,000 out-of-state couples will travel to California to exchange vows. The study estimated that over that period, gay weddings will generate $64 million in tax revenue for the state, $9 million in marriage-license fees for counties, and some 2,200 jobs.

[Update: 12:13 pm: A reader named Amanda just sent me a link to an article on how same sex couples can save money on their California weddings. It also has notes on how to stay debt free after you say "I do". Enjoy.]

I suppose that we can also expect some regrettable wedding trends as this cartoon suggests, like the ring bearing cat and jumping the swiffer. We can also expect a few divorces, and sadly, some custody cases. Between the pre-nups and other legal niceties lawyers across the nation are having a field day.

If New York moves forward (and it's facing some new challenges) we can expect to see some East Coast friends get married here and enjoy the benefits of a legal union there. Or vice versa. As goes California and New York, eventually so goes the nation. The Pew Research Center notes that there is less and less opposition to gay & lesbian marriage, adoption and military service over time.

About time. And, very profitable, too. That, at least, will help convince some legislators that doing well and doing good go hand-in-hand.

Sia

Image: from an ABC story titled Gay Couples Rush To Get Married

(1) From where I sit, the Pacific Northwest has many of the same tolerant (and business oriented) ideas. Same sex marriage has been legal in Oregon for some time, but only because we have no law that bans it. Look for gay and lesbian friendly travel to become more and more prominent over time. A note to my wine loving friends in other states: we have some lovely wine country out here - come on up!

The Marriage of True Minds: Gay and Lesbian Unions Now Legal in California

My favorite portrait
Originally uploaded by keribeth

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

Congratulations to our friends and family in California who can finally marry.

Here in our house we drank a toast at 5 pm, and read the reports online.

This story brought tears to my eyes,

Cheers filled San Francisco's City Hall shortly after 5 p.m. as longtime lesbian activists Phyllis Lyon and Del Martin, partners for more than 50 years, began their second wedding - and their first legal union.

Lyon, 83, and Martin, 87, were the first couple married four years ago when Newsom told the county clerk's office to start offering marriage certificates to same-sex couples. Eventually more than 4,000 same-sex couples were married in San Francisco that year, but those unions were later nullified by the court. Today, the couple, and dozens of others, had their first chance to make their unions truly legal.

...(Mayor) Newsom waited until exactly 5:01 p.m. to begin the San Francisco ceremony, the only one in San Francisco tonight. The women were declared spouses for life at 5:07 p.m. in front of about 50 friends and family members. Martin came into the area in a wheelchair but stood for the ceremony.

The couple made their way out of the office and onto the balcony area where a cake - and large crowd- was waiting. Rose petals fluttered down from the ceiling as the crowd cheered and cameras flashed.

"This is an extraordinary moment in history and extraordinary moment in time" Newsom said to the crowd. "They are extraordinary people who have lived extraordinary lives and spent half a century fighting for justice and equality."

Our love and joy go with you all,

Sia

The photo of this beautiful couple is one I found on the Lesbian Weddings pool at Flickr.