Swan Lake and Russell Brand

It's Saturday and I want to go to a movie with my fella. Instead, I'm working from home, sending polite but firm emails to a team whose members not only need to get on the same page, they need to decide what book they're reading. Do you know the meaning of snafu? No? Well, this is a family blog (more or less) so I'm not going to tell you here - look it up. Anyway, this snafu-thing-y has me thinking about a delightful parody from my childhood, and thinking, " Come on, people! Do you want a chicken or a swan? The curtain's about to go up."

As the lady once said,

A chicken or a duck is a mistake
when you do Swan Lake.

...and if you really want to laugh (and cry and groan, as I am doing as I write these emails) read My Bonky Wook: A Memorior of Sex, Drugs and Stand Up by Russell Brand. You can read/listen to his NPR interview here. Oh...my....stars.

and now back to my little swans....

Sia
"Whattda gonna do? Shoot the swans? These lovelies!"

Need a sweet-hearted, funny (and very raunchy) movie for the weekend? Then rent Forgetting Sarah Marshal. Brand is the best thing in it but the whole cast is stellar, including "Kenneth the Page" from 30 Rock playing a repressed Christian on his honeymoon who can't enjoy sex with his pretty, eager wife until the jaded but kind rock star (Brand) shows him how.
Fair warning: Do not watch this with anyone who doesn't have a very bawdy (and I mean Elizabethan) sense of humor.

When Is A Sex Positive Practice....Not ?

Oh, well done, Anne!

Over the years, though, I have gone from shrugging my shoulders and thinking "not my thing," to being genuinely concerned about what goes on in the name of some "sex-positive" and "sacred sexuality" work. I know many people who have been hit on, manipulated, and used by workshop leaders. Some Pagans who do this work seem to claim "sex-positive" as an excuse for having really bad boundaries—ironically, while supposedly helping others create healthy boundaries. And such an edgy field naturally attracts narcissists, who are more interested in pushing limits than encouraging authentic sexual expression—and yes, there is a difference.

.....Had the Pagan sex-positive movement devolved into a freedom of speech test for exhibitionists? In that case, what we were doing was not revolutionary at all; it was reality television.

Paganism, for all its easy entry and near-universal acceptance of difference, is riddled with minefields if you scratch below the surface. For instance, we value self-empowerment and individualism, yet we loathe leadership, which is a natural outcome of being empowered. Diversity itself becomes a trap when, in upholding the principles of relativism, we are unable to set basic standards of accountability.

Yet in order to progress as a New Religious Movement or whatever the heck we are, we must resolve these questions in some way. If everybody's mileage varies, how are we to determine whether Workshop Leader A is a power-hungry predator or a brilliant, unorthodox teacher? If Pagans as a rule don't trust leaders, are we fated then to end up with leaders who are fundamentally untrustworthy?

I recommend reading her entire guest post titled Sex & Revolution over at the Wild Hunt blog.

This is one reason why I don't attend (and won't recommend newcomers go to) certain festivals in California which are really nothing more then grope fests. And while we're on the subject, the letchy behavior of some of our West Coast "Elders" (1) towards good looking young men and women at Cons is off putting and quite frankly, disgusting.

Her point on leadership is also well made. Sensible Pagans often talk about this amongst themselves. I would love to see more groups deal with this issue openly, so the rest of us can know how they do it. I do know several circles engaged in useful community or charity work. In order to be effective, they use team leaders and they have standards, goals and requirements they hold to.

So here's my question for today:

When did Pagans forget how bardic training and guilds actually work?

It wasn't through wishing thinking. It was by using a system that allowed the less skilled and less experienced to learn from those who had the hard won skills, experience, maturity, stability and wisdom necessary to teach, organize and lead. Ineffectual leaders were not respected, they were not sought out by students for training, and they did not hold high office or run their own workshops. Paganism, which proposes on it's face to be a meritocracy (but which, in actual practice, often can't address merit because so many of us shudder at the idea of judging someone else's performance no matter how necessary or prudent that might be) could well learn much from such arrangements.

The Cult of Personality

Those who fear and distrust any kind of power can never find their own empowerment and they do not empower others. There are many such mystical gurus among us; people who simply need to rebel forever against Mom and Dad and who can't bear to be responsible, stable authority figures themselves. They obtain influence among certain Pagans by using their personal charisma, which in some cases is considerable. You can tell who they are because they have followers and acolytes who admire and revere them, not students who learn and grow and eventually leave their side to do their own, unique work. Gurus do not train up responsible, trustworthy leaders or help create healthy, well functioning groups. They are mired in chaos, complexity and confusion, and do not welcome order, clear communication or the simplicity and ease that comes with knowing a thing and doing it well. After watching them work, one wonders what it is that they truly hope to accomplish, overall.

For more on this, read Deborah Oaks excellent post, I Feel Pretty, Oh So Pretty.

When It's Done Right

I'm not surprised that Anne Hill is comfortable with mentoring and leadership but then she has studied the martial arts where such training is considered a sacred duty. (Plus, she's a damn good Mom who has raised three empowered, creative children who are - as far as this fond observer can tell - spiritually, emotionally and sexually healthy beings.) (2)

I live with a partner who has degrees in several martial arts forms and I know that good teachers take their responsibility very seriously from ethical, spiritual and real world standpoints. If not, someone can get badly hurt or, worse yet, harm someone else through poor judgment.

Maybe we need more of that sort of training and awareness in our circles? It couldn't hurt.

Sia

Related Articles:

Nudity At Festivals

Endnotes:

(1) If you are active in this community, you know who they are. Given the stories I hear, this isn't just a problem on the Left Coast.

(2) One of my favorite memories from PantheaCon comes from watching Anne and her teenage daughter both shop for corsets at the Xcentricities booth. Let me tell you, they both rocked their wardrobes. Anne and I have talked many times over the years about what it takes to raise healthy kids in this culture - I don't know how she did it, but she has.

Stonehenge, Sex and The Simpsons

The BBC is reporting today that there may be a breakthrough at the Stonehenge dig, one that gives credence to the theory that Stonehenge was a place of healing.

Meanwhile, Venezuala has banned the Simpsons on the grounds that they are inappropriate viewing for children (or simply perhaps, too subversive?). They have replaced it with a much more wholesome and healthy show for children, Baywatch.

Turnoffyourtv.com says this about the show:

To the surprise of no one, Great Britain's Broadcast magazine voted Baywatch as the worst American TV show in history. "The appeal to a certain demographic of a series about a muscular lifeguard and his crew of pneumatic young helpers with raging hormones was enough to sustain this show through 12 years, despite a script of mind-numbing predictability: beachgoer is saved from drowning," Broadcast said in November 2004. Though dumb, the show has been seen by an estimated one billion viewers in 140 countries across the globe.

No wonder they hate us.

This month's issue of the Portland Monthly (seriously?) has a long article on Polyamory in it's April issue. A blogger named Jayne Dough liked it better than I did and she has quoted several excerpts at her blog. I thought that, overall, the writer took the attitude of a tourist. As for me, I have met some of the "Elders" in this scene at various Pagan festivals and events, and they are not people who's word I would take at face value. Nor would I wish to be involved in any circle, family or group in which they played a part. But they are only a small part of this movement. Having lived most of my life in Los Angeles and the Bay Area of California, I have had many chances to view such living arrangements up close because some of my friends and colleagues lived in polyamorous households. Some used this term and some of them did not, but all of them fit the general definition. Polamory (unlike polygamy a patriarchal system which preys on and abuses young women) is an equal arrangement between adult partners. In other words, we gals get to choose new partners as often as the men do. (1) Whether the adults be straight, gay or bi makes no difference and a combination of these folks can sometimes be found in one household.

We did not have the term when I was young, we simply called it the 70's. (2) I've often teased these friends by saying that the polyamorous arrangements I've observed seemed to involve far too much housework and not enough sex. They agree that this can sometimes be the case. The truth is, a lot depends on the household arrangements and the people in it. For example, I knew one household in the Bay Area which was composed of intelligent, well educated, and charming people. They had agreed on intricate timetables that made clear who was sleeping with whom that week but had no understanding of who's turn it was to clean the cat box and who was to cook or buy groceries. As a result, the tensions and resentments in the household were never about jealousy or possessiveness but were instead about finances and family chores. (And this is different from a common marriage how?)

On the other hand, I have seen more mature poly households that were run smoothly and supportively and with a great deal of humor, grace and love. Much depends on the emotional stability of those involved. At it's best, polyamory can be a way for multiple partners to share finances, childcare and love in ways that work well for all concerned. But it does involve a great deal of communication, strong boundaries and, yes, I mean this, commitment. (3) At worst, it is simply a way for one person to sleep around as much as they want without regard to the feelings of their other partner(s). Like all relationships, a poly relationship takes a bit of work (and a lot of attention to safe sex). If all someone wants are simple sexual encounters, then it might be better for them to go clubbing or try a swingers group.

Sia

Related Articles:

It's A Mystery: Dysfunctional Behavior and the Pagan Scene

Healthy Pagan Groups and Individuals

Endnotes:

(1) If you want to make the dominate culture crazy introduce a way of loving that involves a) happy, healthy sex b) multiple partners and c) has no negative judgements related to whether these partners are gay or straight or bisexual.

(2) My older friends remind me that the 60's generation did this sort of thing all the time. They called it communal living. My younger friends seem to enjoy the same situation, albeit on a much more casual level, one that (being assumed rather than thoughtfully examined and chosen) can cause hurt feelings (and a host of other problems). They simply call it "going to college and hooking up". Of course, having "friends with benefits" fits in there somewhere, as well, but among those I know this is what one usually does between serious relationships, and not during same.

(3) And if you have children, you are going to need some creative legal protection.

Image: Cats at Stonehenge greeting card can be purchased here.

Sex Addiction & Compulsive Destructive Behavior

The only sin that sex can commit,
is to be joyless
- John Steinbeck

When the news about the (now ex) Governor's visit to a prostitute first broke, it seemed to be a simple story about a rigid, moralistic, workaholic breaking his marriage vows. Since few, if any, johns are prosecuted, I saw no reason for him to step down from office for such a (relatively minor) crime. Our society knows that those who have healed from their dis-ease are the best people to counsel their brothers and sisters caught in a dysfunctional web of compulsion, codependency and addiction; therefore, why not allow a public servant who erred sit in the very councils of state that address this issue? Were he still a prosecutor, I would have called for his resignation, however, as a Governor he might actually be able to address our culture's attitude towards sex workers with some humility and compassion - no bad thing in a either a lawmaker or a leader.

When this story first broke, it seemed to be an sad, infrequent fall from grace. We Pagans invented what is known as the Golden Rule, and I thought we would do well to allow this man to perform some public form of contrition for his hypocrisy and then go home to make private amends to his friends and family. That's not how the world works, of course, and I knew that when I wrote the piece. Whatever we say to the contrary (and no matter how much we would wish for some enlightened mercy for ourselves when we make our worse mistakes) most of us still like to see Old Testament style justice in action, especially when it comes to the rich and famous.

Since I wrote that post, we have heard that the governor was a regular customer at these brothels, that he has wasted something like $80,000 of his families money in this way. That amount just boggles the mind. When the facts some out, it may well be seen that he has been visiting these women (and lying to us and his family) for many years. Worse yet, he may have asked these girls to perform acts that will shock most Americans (with the exception of the many gently bred, elderly women like my own dear mother who have never missed an episode of Law & Order: SVU.) Meanwhile, the media will be hell bent to uncover every purient detail; their self righteous fever may soon sicken even the most cynical among us. This is an example of the ways in which mainstream religious teachings about human sexuality are so profoundly harmful, and why I said that those brought up to view sex with a mixture of shame and guilt would suffer the consequences of these teachings in later life. If this man was indeed shame based, and he needed these girls to affirm that, he won't be the first (or the last) powerful person to do so. History used to teach us that. Now TV does the job for us. The folks who write Law & Order and going to have a field day with this one.

So, with all that in mind, I will ask your indulgence as I revisit this issue. Today I would like to amend and expand on some earlier comments. It is clear now that this is an on-going pattern of reckless behavior, deceit and denial. A man who once did a great deal of good has split from his best self and engaged in actions that are not only hypocritical, but dangerous. Among other things, he put himself at risk for blackmail and coercion; something no one in a position of trust should ever do. Frankly, were I his wife, he would be standing at that podium of shame all alone, and sporting a black eye. (Perhaps she is a better person then I am, who knows?) I would then go on to hold my own press conference. I've talked to my gal pals about this and we all agree that were we in that position, the media would not see a humiliated spouse, but one very angry woman, and the topic of the day would be the foolish, hypocritical ways in which the issue of sex and sex workers is treated in this puritan minded country. (1) But I digress.....

As I read more about his behavior, it seems to me to be a case of sexual addiction coupled with a need for dangerous, high risk behavior. Charity Vogel tackles this issue in an article titled Was Spitzer Just Stupid Or Worse?

The question of whether Spitzer has some sort of sex addiction is also being raised. Only the disgraced governor and his doctors know for sure, but experts say being accomplished and highly educated doesn’t make you immune.

Thomas Tullos, a certified sexual addiction therapist at Pine Grove Behavioral Services in Mississippi, said most of his sex addiction patients have been high-functioning professionals.

Tullos said he doesn’t know what’s going on in Spitzer’s head, and he couldn’t comment if he did know. But anyone who has been following the details of Spitzer’s fall from grace would recognize some of the measurements Tullos uses to evaluate whether patients are sexual addicts.

If they say yes to three, Tullos said, they fit the definition.

• Have they done sexual things that they know can have adverse consequences, but continue in those behaviors anyway?

• Is their sexual behavior impacting other areas of their life, like job performance, relationships with spouse or children, friendships?

• Do they spend an inordinate time involved in the behavior, including time to set up episodes?

• Have they ever tried to stop but couldn’t?

• Have they frequently engaged in the behavior while they were supposed to be doing other things, like work?

One of the hard things to understand about sex addiction is that it’s a “process disorder,” where a common part of healthy life rampages out of control.

The worst damage that sex addiction wreaks in relationships isn’t about physical intimacy, Tullos said. “It’s really not about sex, in a way; that’s the content.”

What hurts the most is the lying, the cheating, and the secret-keeping, he said. “You can fill in the blank about what people are lying about or keeping secrets about. That’s interchangeable,” he said. “But as human beings, we are all impacted when someone lies to us, when someone keeps a secret, or has a double life.

If you or someone you know is a sex addict, please know that there is help out there. Don't let your life spiral out of control. Such behavior, as I said earlier, is based in shame and guilt. Let this man's story be a wake up call. Pick up the phone, go to a meeting, see a therapist; above all, talk to someone about this. Isolation will only make things worse. I see the behaviors listed above far too often in the Pagan community, and it always makes me sad. Ours is a spiritual path that celebrates sex and sexuality. What we seek is both joy and balance. To see such a precious gift of the Goddess twisted until is is joyless, mechanical and debased is the antithesis of a life affirming path.

My thoughts today are with this man and his family, and with the sex workers who so often have been sexually abused as children and who have lost the joy of this gift, as well. I wish healing and highest good for all concerned.

Sia

Related Articles:

Got Guilt?

Links:

Spiral Steps Support Groups

Art: Justice by Lisa Iris

(1) Many people have asked why the wives do it, why they stand there, being humiliated in public, while their husband confesses to his sins against them in public. Most wives interviewed after the fact will tell you that they did it out of a sense of loyalty or duty, or because they were concerned for their children and did not want their kids to see their father up there without their mother's support. I would also offer another reason: Many of these cases will go forward into long, costly legal battles. I can guess that they have been advised by their lawyers to stand next to him, lest he appear too guilty and loose any case for defense they may have in the public eye. They might be protecting their family - at least in their eyes - and I do not condemn them for that.

She's Tired: Pagan Thoughts On The Latest Sex Scandal

Here I stand,
the goddess of Desire,
set men on fire, I have this power,

Morning noon and night
it's drink and dancing,
some quick romancing,
and then a quick shower,

Stage door johnnies always
surround me,
they always hound me,
with one request,


Who can satisfy their lustful habits?
I'm not a rabbit!

I need some rest!

- from I'm Tired (sung by Madeline Kahn in Blazing Saddles)

Oh, goody. Another sex scandal. We'll be hearing about nothing else for at least a week.

Seriously, folks, I love a sex scandals as much as the next person (1) and I say this with no confidence that anyone will listen: There are other, more important things going on in the world. But no one is paying attention to that right now. So - if you care - here is my take on this.

The man made a stupid, arrogant, and self-destructive mistake. But it is a personal mistake. (Unlike, say, invading Iraq, it does not hurt the rest of us.) He needs to apologize to his wife and daughters. (If you want to know where my sympathies lie, it's with them, not him). He needs to make amends to his staff, and the voters, and get on with his work. I hope, I really hope, that this incident can teach a rigid, self-righteous moralist a bit about himself so that he can fight crime with more compassion and understanding than he has before. We all cheered him when he brought corporate evil doers and the Bush Administration to heel, so let's not forget that.

I, for one, do not forget that this man has done good work, and can continue to do more. I say this without regard to party or ideology: Let him work this out and learn from it. He might become a much better public servant as a result.

(Sia's note 3/14: Back when I wrote this, most of us thought this was a brief fall from grace and I argued that he should stay in office. I have since amended my argument in my later post on Sex Addiction. However, I do still maintain that he can heal and rebuild his life and that he deserves the chance to do so).

Am I surprised? Not at all. Whenever someone conforms to a rigid, perfectionist, self-righteous code of behavior, some kind of fall is inevitable. It is simply a matter of control and release. Shakespeare knew that about human beings - he made a career on this stuff. If you treat sex as a matter of shame and guilt, as so many religions do, and you give celebrities a sense of themselves as somehow more entitled then the rest of us, well, then this sort of thing is bound to happen. (2)

I am never surprised at the arrogance of powerful men (or women), and that includes men I admire, like John Kennedy and Martin Luther King, both of whom had sex - in Kennedy's case, a lot of sex - outside of their marriage. (3)

Now, if I may, I would like to move on to what is - for me, at least - the more important issue. It's this:

No one in the history of the world has even been able to successfully ban prostitution. Since the sex trade will always be with us, I want prostitution legalized, and I want it unionized, I want it regulated, and I want it taxed.

Adult, consenting Sex Workers should have:

* A union that looks out for their rights and safety (and let's get rid of the Pimps who exploit these folks, and let them choose well paid managers from among their own ranks. Such managers should be held accountable like any other sort, and should follow standard business and health & safety practices in the workplace)

* A national association that sets fair work hours, practices, standards, pricing and policy. It should also keep a list of abusive johns and workers. (In much the same way that casinos keep a "book" they all share which denies access to those who attempt to abuse these clubs).

Take this money out of the hands of gangsters and drug dealers, and give it to the workers and the community tax base.

* Medical coverage & regular health screenings (to protect their health and the health of their customers).

* On-going health education & enforcement of safe sex policies.

* Coverage for rehab and support for a drug free workplace.

* Child care off site (to be payed for by the house or collective they work for). They have children, you know. Do you want them to visit Mommy at work?

* Scholarships for those who wish to pursue other means of employment

Did you know that many nurses in the old days were prostitutes? With a shortage of health care workers in this country that is only going to grow larger, why not help sex workers who want to leave the life become nurses and health care assistants? Germany is doing just that.

Right after I wrote this, I did a google search on this subject only to find that Nurses in Britain were already way ahead of me on this issue:

The basis for the RCN policy recommendation was the nurses' view that the "stigma" of prostitution discouraged sex workers from seeking general health care, dentistry or social services, even though prostitutes often have serious health problems. Conference delegates reportedly pointed to reforms in other nations, including Germany, Holland and Australia, creating managed zones for street prostitutes and legalizing brothels. They noted that these measures had improved the health of sex workers and reduced levels of exploitation and violence.

I also want Sex Workers to have:

* Regular counseling (since, as we know, most of them come from abusive backgrounds)

* Standard government inspections of the property, the books and the employees.

* They should be taxed, and the money should be earmarked to help support women's shelters and given to agencies that help abused children and prevent child sex trafficking.

Much of what I propose has already been done in the Netherlands. We can benefit from their example. (It's not a perfect system, by any means, but let's at least consider our options from the point of view of what does work).

I'll let Lili Von Shtupp speak for these ladies:

I've been with 1000's of men,
again and again,
they sing the same tune,

They start with Byron and Shelly,
and jump on your belly,
and bust your balloon!

Aye!
tired,
tired of playing the game,
ain't it a freakin shame,
I'm so...
let's face it,
everything below the waste is kapput!

I know, I know. Treating this issue in a rational or light manner takes all the fun out of it. Well...not all the fun. It just removes the shame, guilt, disease, exploitation, and violence. And isn't a sexual caste system that exploits and abuses women the real moral issue?

Sia

Links:

Madeline Kahn in Blazing Saddles - a review by StinkyLulu

Sex Workers Rights & Support

Further Reading:

The Book of Vice by Peter Sagal

Endnotes:

(1) In fact, an old boyfriend once told me my knowledge of history involved an unusually large amount of information about Who slept with Who and Why. (No sense of humor, that guy, which tells you why he's an Ex).

(2) I am surprised that:
a) He was so foolish as to use email and text messaging (when he had so easily caught criminals by reading their email and text messages).
b) That it took so long for him to implode.

(3) I would also like to point out that we women are no better than they are when it comes to issues around sex and power. Wait until we hold these positions as a matter of course, and you'll see what I mean.

Photo: Madeline Kahn and Harvey Korman in a scene from Blazing Saddles.

Beltane: Old Style & New Style

I sent out Beltane greetings to friends today.

Our own celebrations will begin at sunset on April 30th, and continue on through the time of Old Beltane (1) and a bit beyond. These celebrations include parties, dancing the sun up, rituals, feasts, decorating springs and wells, Morris Dancers, rituals and May Poles. That's Beltane Old Style. Our celebrations also include habitat restoration work, native gardening efforts, raising funds for local charities, food drives, supporting animal rescue groups, and other meaningful work for Mama Gaia and her creatures. That's Beltane New Style.

It is a busy and beautiful time.

Old Style or New Style it's a time for flirting, fun and frolic. Being uppity women, Snakemoon and I both own quote buttons that say Hi, I'm Pagan. Ask Me About My Sex Holiday.

Beltane is also a time to celebrate the Green Man. If you have not already seen it, you may like this old essay of mine titled In Praise Of Pagan Men

This is a time to cherish the earth while we celebrate spring. For example, our Gaia's Guardian's project helps recruit volunteers from among our earthwise friends to work with mainstream, locally based non-profit groups that help both animals and the planet. It's always been important to me to build these kind of links between Pagan volunteers, and their neighborhood community service organizations. It's something I think needs doing. I find it rewarding, as well. (2)

The timing of this Cross Quarter Holiday can be confusing. Here's why:

* Astrological Beltane: Occurs when the sun is at 15 degrees Taurus. (Usually around May 5th).

* Astronomical Beltane: The time when the constellation Pleiades can be seen on the dawn horizon. Our ancestors would have been well aware of changes to the stars that heralded a change in seasons; something most moderns now miss.

* Calendar Beltane - (AKA May Day): This is commonly celebrated on May 1st. However, it is important to note that calender changes made by the Pope Gregory XIII in 1582 moved the date backwards by 11 days in most European countries. Overnight, May 12th became May 1st. (Note: England and American did not adopt the Gregorian calendar until 1752). Thus, the Calendar puts the well known May Day celebrations such as Morris Dancing, May Poles and Fire Festivals, et al, at at a time far earlier than they were previously held. In Medieval and Renaissance times these celebrations took place 11 - 15 days later in the season; at a time when the weather was noticeably warmer and dryer, travel (both by sea and over land) was easier and safer, many more spring flowers bloomed, a larger number of young animals were about and thriving, and it was far more pleasant to be outside.

* Lunar Beltane: Occurs during the first full moon in May.

Many ancient and modern calendars are based on either lunar or lunisolar calendars. Such calenders were/are used by people in Native American, Hebrew, Islamic, Asian, Hindu and Pagan cultures. Many ancients peoples, including the ancient Celts, Egyptians, Africans, Mayans, Hawaiians, and Babylonians, used lunar calendars.

* Solar Beltane - (AKA Cross Quarter Beltane): Beltane is a Cross Quarter Holiday, one that stands halfway between a solstice and an equinox in the Wheel of the Year. It's exact date and time is calculated in relation to the other seasonal holidays ocuring in a 365 day-long solar year. You can check this on sites such as the Archaeoastronomy site.

Here are Actual dates and times for the Cross Quarter holidays through 2012

* Tribal - (AKA Festive Beltane): Our ancestors often held feasts, faires, and festivals that lasted for many days. (This makes sense when you consider that travel to and from these gatherings could take days. Why travel all that way for a brief event?) Today, Pagans and others celebrate this holiday over a period of several days, often gathering to meet or do rituals at a time most convenient for their families and/or group.

The Wheel of the Year:

The Wheel of the Year is celebrated by Pagans, Druids, Wiccans and others as a way to honor the past, and be in touch with nature. Please Note: The number of holidays on the Wheel remains constant, but their names and focus may vary according to one's culture and tradition.

More information and links can be found in the footnote #1.

Happy Spring to all here.

Sia


(1) Doug and Sandy Knopf write that our ancestors knew the time of Beltane was near when they saw the rising of the constellation Pleiades on the dawn horizon. The Pleiades are also known as the Seven Sisters and the first born and most beautiful of the Sisters is named Maia. The month of May is named for Maia.

As Mike Nichols notes:

Due to various calendrical changes down through the centuries, the traditional date of Beltane is not the same as its astrological date. This date, like all astronomically determined dates, may vary by a day or two depending on the year. However, it may be calculated easily enough by determining the date on which the sun is at 15 degrees Taurus (usually around May 5th). British Witches often refer to this date as Old Beltane, and folklorists call it Beltane O.S. ('Old Style'). Some Covens prefer to celebrate on the old date and, at the very least, it gives one options.... This may also be a consideration for Covens that need to organize activities around the week-end.

Lunar Beltane occurs on the first full moon in May. Mark McNutt notes that

Pagans speak of Lunar Beltane, which is the time of the Full Moon in the middle of Spring, always a Moon in Scorpio which implies the mood of sexual fertility and balanced with the sensuality of Taurus. This is why it is such a Bel -time. The ritual of Beltane celebrates life coming into full fertility in the garden and in our own beings. Life, death, and sexuality are transformative partners in the walk of life.

Druid Richard Eaton believes that Beltane is not so much a sexual time in the Wheel of the Year but a sacred fertility festival celebrating birth.

(2) While living in Northern California, my husband and I developed an online Earthwise Community calendar for that state that was, I believe, unique, in part because it supported the view that Pagans are people who walk between worlds. We list social and cultural events on our calendar as well as arts and crafts postings, gardening, musical and family-friendly events, as well as nature hikes and camp outs. These are listed right alongside rituals, Pagan classes and drumming circles. After all, we Pagans have lives. I enjoyed doing that (as time consuming as it was) but it is something I had to give up when we moved to a new state. I notice with a great deal of quiet pride that other people in the earthwise community are doing this sort of broad-focused networking in their communities and using the new media to great effect. Good on you, folks.

------------

Off the Shelf:

Beltane: Springtime Rituals, Lore and Celebration by Raven Grimassi

Wheel Of The Year: Living the Magical Life by Paulene Campenelli

The Witches' Sabbats by Mike Nichols.

Green Man: Tales of the Mythic Forest: Terri Windling (Editor) A book of stories about the Green Man and the Green Woman.

The Green Man: Spirit of Nature by John Mathews.

Green Magic: The Sacred Connections to Nature by Ann Moura

Lord of Light and Shadow: The Many Faces of the God by Dj Conway

King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine by Robert Moore and Douglas Gillette

Save Our Planet: 750 Everyday Ways You Can Help Clean Up the Earth/25th Anniversary Edition by Diane Maceachern

For Parents:

Circle Round and Sing by Anne Hill

50 Things Kids Can Do To Save the Earth by The Earthworks Group

Artwork: This image is by the brillent Mr. Brian Froud. Brian was kind enough to let us use several of his images for our Fairy-themed Witches Ball in 2001. He also donated several prints for our silent auction. This ball was a charity fundraiser for our local Humane Society and over 600 people attended that year. Brian lives in the UK, and he was scheduled to tour the U.S. and to attend our event as Guest of Honor but 9/11 forced he and his wife to cancel their plans.

Scent & Sex in Ancient Times

Today is the first day of Spring and a time many Pagans celebrate Ostara. You can feel a change in the air, and in the acts and attitudes around us. Nature knows it. In the Pacific Northwest where I live the migratory birds are returning, the tree frogs are singing for mates, the plum trees are in bloom, and the light changes daily. Gardeners like me are flocking to their local nurseries like birds to a feeder. I spent a lovely day last weekend at a native plant nursery, breathing in the scents and planning wild gardens to come. Oh, for a duck pond now that Spring is here!

Meanwhile, Wren's Nest reports that an ancient perfume factory dedicated to the Goddess of Love has been discovered in Cyprus. According to the archaeologist on site:

"We were astonished at how big the place was … Perfumes must have been produced on an industrial scale. No wonder the island got its reputation for possessing the skills of Aphrodite,” said National Research Council archaeologist Maria Rosa Belgiorno.

(For you history buffs, the Corning website has some wonderful information on the history of glass and glass making.)

The article goes one to note that: Perfumes are displayed in alabaster vials ...and are made of olive oil, pine, coriander, laurel, bergamot, parsley and bitter almonds...The scents are named after the Greek goddesses Aphrodite, Hera, Athena and Artemis.

Anytime I visit a museum, I look for ancient glass. Some of the most evocative designs are found in perfume jars; those enduring, sensual icons with their female curves and phallic shapes which so clearly exhibit the powerful, unconscious, biological link between sex and scent.

The ancient Egyptians understood this connection. They lived in a sex positive culture in which perfume was a sensuous (and lucrative!) art form, one closely involved with their earliest Goddess, Hathor. As Judith Illes notes in her essay on Hathor, Lady of Beauty:

Hathor was the matron and embodiment of what were considered the pleasures of life 5,000 years ago- and which for many, remain so even today: joy, love, romance, fecundity, dance, music, alcohol and perfume. A deity of women, she ruled anything having to do with the female gender. Yet although she was intrinsically connected to the female of the species, Hathor cannot be considered only a women's deity. She also had a large and devoted following among men. As Lady of Malachite, Lady of Turquoise, Hathor was also connected to metal. Holding spiritual dominion over the Sinai Peninsula, she was responsible for the success and well being of the mines in that area. Apparently Hathor was as intensely worshipped by male miners and soldiers, as she was by women in childbirth or young girls desirous of husbands. Both genders were able to recognize the sacred divine within her seductively vibrant joyous beauty.

While we are on the subject of love, scent and the history of sex, let us not forget one of the great modern avatars on that subject: Pepe le Pew, the amorous French skunk who lived for love (and who inspired Johnny Depp's portrayal of Captain Jack Sparrow in Pirates). As Pepe would say "Love is in the air, No?".

Indeed it is. National Public Radio reports that: An exhibit in Rome aims to explain the role of Eros, the most powerful and most elusive of the ancient gods. The show at the Colosseum seeks to illustrate the huge gap between contemporary attitudes to erotic love and how the subject was treated in antiquity.

Speaking of exhibits, Kate Smith recently wrote an article titled Ancient Egypt to Japan: An LBGT Trail Around the British Museum in which she points out a number of objects that trace the history of the gay experience.

This is also the International Year of Rumi, a Sufi mystic, and one of the world's greatest love poets. Here is an excerpt from one of my favorite Rumi poems:

Like This:

If anyone asks you
how the perfect satisfaction

of all our sexual wanting will look,
lift your face and say,
Like this.

When someone mentions the gracefulness
of the night sky,
climb up on the roof and dance and say,
Like this.

If anyone wants to know what "spirit" is,
or what "God’s fragrance" means,
lean your head toward him or her.
Keep your face there close.
Like this.

When someone quotes the old poetic image
about clouds gradually uncovering the moon,
slowly loosen knot by knot the strings of your robe.
Like this.

------------------------------------------------

Ah, Spring. Breath deeply.

Sia

[Please note: This article contains links to sites, books and pictures with adult content. I said "adult" not pornographic, by which I mean sites containing words of more than one syllable, which are frank, honest, and mature]

Off the Shelf:

Skinny Legs and All by Tom Robbins. A book about belly dancing, Queen Jezebel, Astarte, and sea shells. I would also recommend Jitterbug Perfume, a book about beets, floral conscious and New Orleans. His newest book is Wild Ducks Flying Backwards.

Perfume: The Story of a Murderer by Patrick Suskind. Love and obsession in 18th Century France

Scents and Sensibilities: Creating Solid Perfumes for Well Being by Mandy Aftel.

A Year with Rumi by Coleman Barks

Additional Notes: 3/21 The Wild Hunt Blog offered a lovely post for Spring today. It's a nice collection of the well loved links on this subject and may include some you haven't seen yet - Check it out.