Thursday, November 15, 2001

Back from Chaos

essay from newsletter - not archived


“Reality is what you make of it”. That is what my friend, Bruce, always says. I thought about that this week when I decided to do a little “reality tweaking” of my own.

I’m very organized as a rule. Or at least, I was, until six months ago when work for Full Circle took over so much of my life. Once the Witches Ball was over, I took stock and found that piles of paperwork belonging to my writing life, my personal life, my priestess life and my business life had been too long neglected and had gotten way out of hand. So, I put out a call to my friend, Maggi (the Owner of Chaos Consulting) and my other friend Tammy (who teaches classes in Organization for Magickal People) and I asked them both to come over and help me out of this terrible hole I’ve found myself in.

It’s a week later and amid much laugher and a lot of caffeine, we three have gotten to the point where we can now see the top of my desk. Gods, I love organized women – there’s nothing they can’t do. I feel better going into the Pagan New Year knowing that my house and my life are more in order. Give me another week and I’ll be ready to host Thanksgiving for those eight friends of mine. (Note to said friends: Please pay no attention to the stuff that’s currently hidden inside certain closets – I’ll get to it…I’ll get to it….)

So, life is looking good. We’re not done, of course. It’s going to take weeks before I’m back to what I (as Scotch/German woman) consider to be normal. I’ve still got to get my office back into shape and then more of my household needs to get under control and then my writing life. Don’t even get me started on the garden…or those closets. Full Circle dropped a house on this Witch’s life this year and it’s going to take a while before I can get out from under. But thanks to Tammy and Maggi, I’ve got some hope of daylight and that helps a lot. (See you ladies next week!)

As I get older, I find that I value simplicity more and more. This is best served by organizing my life so that things run easily and smoothly. When things are in their place, I have more time to read, write, love, dance and work. I spend less time worrying about what I need to do and more time living my life. It’s a busy life and I need all the space I can get for it. Thus, the need for order.

Mind you, I’m very respectful of Chaos. I do some of my most creative work that way. There are times when you just have to go into the cauldron and trust that the strengths you have will come together in an alchemy that produces a better you. I’m comfortable with that process and I understand the necessity for it.

What I don’t like (and never have) is a constant state of drama, craziness or stress. It’s bad enough when the world spins me about – it’s worse when I do it to myself, either because I didn’t set certain boundaries or because I didn’t have things in place before one of life’s tornadoes hit town.

This might sound strange to some of you, but I find that I’m a much more spiritual person when I know where my garden trowel is. I like my tools (both practical and magickal) to be in their place so that I can find them when I need them. Hunting about and worrying dissipates energy that I need for other things. Why stress over finding the paperwork for my business taxes when I have this sexy and very interesting partner to pay attention to? A gal’s got to have her priorities. So I keep the paperwork in it’s place and then I have time to make a candlelight dinner for my beloved. Uncle Sam and I both prefer it that way.

I used to joke that I was anal retentive but I’ve stopped doing that. As a Pagan, I know that I can create and shape much of my reality. My friend Bruce’s quote reminds me of that. So, with that in mind, I’ve stopped using humor to denigrate my skills. I’ve stopped speaking about my love of order as if it was some form of character flaw and I’ve begun to accept it for what it is, which is a Magickal Talent. These days, I see people like Maggi, Tammy and myself as Mages. In my Tradition, a Mage is a magician (either male or female) who works to bring order out of chaos. Usually this work is done for the greater good of the tribe or for the spirit of the people involved. In a larger context, it involves a commitment to creating a life and to living it as fully as possible. This year, I think I’ll take more time to honor that side of myself.

I meditated on this fact recently and I saw that, overall, it was going to be a good year for me and for Full Circle and I’m looking forward to it. We’ve done a great deal of the back-breaking ground work here at FCE and next year is going to be much easier then the last two have been.

As for my personal life, well, good stuff is already starting to happen. For one thing, when we cleared one of the paper piles in my house, we found the phone. I think I’ll use it to call some friends and see who wants to get together. There’s this Harry Potter movie I’ve been waiting to see ….

Here’s to the simple life and here’s to the friends who stick with you and who help you find your way back from Chaos.


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