Quel dommage

Ah, me. We have yet another "High" Priestess who has made a mess of things.

The latest scandal du jure is about a woman who has been in the Pagan community for at least 12 years now. She fancied herself a powerful Coven leader and was something of a Diva.

Now, this lady belongs to a Tradition that values hierarchy and formal ceremony. For the sake of this writing, let us call them VTW's or Very Traditional Witches. The woman had studied with a Famous Teacher in that Tradition about ten years ago and she had risen through the ranks, as t'wer. The Teacher in question lives in this area and many, many people respect him. I can tell you from my own experience that he is learned man; more learned on Pagan matters than anyone else I have ever met. Most Pagans would do anything to own his library. I can't tell you if he is wise. It doesn't seem so.

I can tell you, though, about his teaching style. Here is one example: One day he got a new pet parrot and my friend went over to his house to see it. Famous Teacher is an expert on exotic birds and has quite a few of his own. The new bird was sitting in a large, lovely cage in his living room and the visitor asked if she could put a finger into the cage to pet the bird. "Yes, you can" he answered. Now, the visitor has known this man for a while, so she hesitated, thought for a moment, and then asked, "Will he bite." "Oh, yes" the man replied. "He bites quite hard." "Why didn't you tell me that!" the woman said. "You didn't ask me that" said the man. "You only asked me if you could try it." My friend took this as evidence that Famous Teacher was very wise, and he lets his student learn for themselves. What you learned, she told me, depends on asking the right questions and so the attainment of wisdom is up to the student. Very deep, yes? (1)

I think there's a difference between letting someone learn the hard way and teaching the easy way. Pretty much anyone can govel the groundlings.

To be fair to the man, I'm all for learning from consequences, per se. This way of teaching might actually work if:
1) you had extremely thoughtful, canny pupils like my friend,
2) no one would ever be in real danger from the lesson if you simply left it at that,
3) you really do know how to teach to more than one level of student and
4) you, the teacher, are willing to work hard with the one's who "don't get it".

If you think that's easy, try it sometime. (2)

As for her Ladyship, she is not canny, like my friend, nor does she tend to ask the right questions (especially not of herself!). Nevertheless she did study with him and achieved the level of 3rd Degree. I'm told that this promotion came as a surprise to most of the other people in her study group, some of whom are friends of mine. They remembered her from those years and they wern't impressed. They speculate that Famous Teacher granted her this honor, not because she was ready for it, but because his long time Co-Priestess had moved away and he had no one else available who would do the work. I suppose this could have ended happily if a) the person who initiated her had been responsible enough to keep an eye on her and b) she had any sense. Sadly, neither was true.

I wish I could say that she used her new authority well, that she saw her role as someone who served the community responsibly, and that she showed compassion, honesty, and wisdom towards her student.

I can't.

Rather, it seemed to this Lady that being a "High" Priestess meant that everyone else had to stand up when she entered the room. Literally! This gives you an idea as to where this story is going.

I actually knew the woman and had even circled with her for a short time, many years ago, when I was attending an Eclectic Circle in the mountains on Pagan holidays. I put her down in my books back then as "mostly harmless", if a bit too full of herself. I knew from what she told me that her life was usually out of wack on some level, and that her problems (which were legion ) usually involved either relationships or money.

In the year or so that I knew her she seemed incapable of leaving her husband, even though she was unhappy and disliked him, he treated her badly, and he had started living and dressing as a woman. Honestly, folks, if your husband suddenly decides he wants to be a girl then give him a kiss for luck, advise him not to wear horizontal strips, and show him the door!

As a result of all this, she was not someone I would ever give responsibility to, nor, for that matter was she interested in the kind of charity or community work we do here at FCE. Her idea of a good time involved a maximum of attention for herself with a minimum amount of effort.

I'll give you an example: One time FCE invited her out to a three day camp out with our group. She ignored the no-smoking rules because she didn't want to walk all the way down one small hill to the designated smoking area. She had to be reminded several times by our volunteers about this when she was caught smoking in the wrong areas, and she was finally threatened with expulsion, after which she toed the line. This was not a PC issue. Our families were camping in the mountains, during August, in a high risk area, in fire season. We weren't kidding about those warnings and she was smoking near dry brush. Like I said, she didn't have much sense.

I'm not a Traditionalist sort of Witch myself, so my involvement with her (once I had left the Eclectic group) was limited to friendly "hi" at PantheaCon. It was only later that I began to hear of problems within one of the two local Covens she ran, and then only because I knew some of the people in these groups.

So it was, that several months ago I got phone calls from people who wanted advice. They said that two of their Coven members (a young heterosexual couple I'd known years before) were having marital problems and that this had greatly effected the Coven. The man is known to be an alcoholic with delusions of grandeur and so this news did not surprise me. I had already heard that he was unwelcome in several venues before that point. No one who had ever had to work with him or rely on him ever choose to work with him again. He is a bit of a dandy and only wants to be a front man. His idea of leadership is to tell other people what to do and take the credit.

The other partner in this couple is a sad, pretty, clueless gal who has problems with depression and keeps loosing jobs. She always had smoked too much pot, and it really showed. Now, it seemed that she was getting into much harder stuff. As often happens, the more these two drank and used, the more they fought and the more their personal problems affected the Circle.

What bothered me about this situation the most was that the "High" Priestess, the one who should have looked out for them all, was herself a registered nurse. Thus, she was fully capable of knowing the awful risks these two were taking, and she had the education, the skills and the means to stage an intervention. Yet she did nothing for this couple. She did not even offer them counseling, for Gods' sake, let alone teach them manners and boundaries.

Even when the other Coven members (finally!) told her about their concerns, she did nothing to handle the anger and misunderstandings this couple's behavior had created among the group. Not surprisingly, many of the members were now angry at their Priestess (and perhaps a bit at themselves?) and she did nothing about that, either. I find it telling that so few people were willing to tell her directly about their concerns, while others came to me or to other people in the community for advice. In some cases, others were brought into the argument, they took sides, and this only made things worse.

I advised anyone who asked me what to do to talk to this Priestess directly, and arrange for some conflict resolution among the group. I also advised them to vote on and set strong boundaries with this couple, arrange for consequences if these rules weren't followed, and then stick to them. I also recommended that they get some professional help in confronting the couple about their drug and alcohol problems. It's been my experience that healthy people don't make dysfunctional people any better. Rather, a dysfunctional person can make an entire Coven (or an office) go nuts; especially if they are enabled by the leader of their group.

Bottom Line: These people were Coven mates, after all, and they had all promised to help and protect one another. Those commitments are taken among these Covens for exactly this sort of situation, and Very Traditional Covens are said to take this sort of thing deadly seriously (all those swords and cords and oaths and such does tend to give one that impression). But in this case their commitment to each other went only skin deep. The Priestess, who should have led them better, at the very least, and protected them all, at most, was worse than useless. This seemed beyond even her usual silliness, and I soon found out why she was so distracted.

Meanwhile, back to the Coven... As it turned out (as it usually turns out) the members feared confrontation. So some simply choose to remove themselves from the situation, rather than deal with it directly. Two people finally got fed up and told the group that they didn't have time for the Coven anymore. On that news, the entire group quickly agreed to disband the Coven "for a while"; ostensibly, so that they could all take a rest and come together again at a later date. At that point, the more functional members breathed a sigh of relief to be out of it all, and wished the crazy couple well as they continued to speed towards the cliffs just in front of them.

True to form, the couple did indeed continue in their downward spiral, made worse now by the fact that no one they respected or trusted was there to give them a reality check. One reason no one wanted to Circle with these two anymore was that they had become involved with their drug dealer; a slimy person who dressed like a git and told everyone that he was a Vampire. (Well, I suppose in a way, he was). The police had already been to their apartment once before, and also to his, which was just a few doors down. None of these Coven members wanted to find themselves in a situation with 12 other people, all naked, standing in a circle in this couple's living room, just as the clock struck midnight and the police barged in the door. Well...I can't blame them for that.

Soon after the Coven disbanded, the couple split up....sort of. The gal moved several apartments down the way from her husband and into the one where her Vampire Lover/Dealer still lived. Meanwhile, the husband kept drinking and, raging codependent that he is, kept giving his wife money. She soon lost her latest job, and to her deluded mind, he owed her support. (Don't get me started.) Now, it said that she's beyond cocaine and into meth. Goddess help her.

The last I heard from him was when I wrote to see if he was ready to get some help to stop drinking. What I got back was a miserable email in which he blamed everyone for his troubles but himself and denied that he had a problem. He's since cut himself off from anyone who tells him the truth, and no one I know has heard from him since. Sad to say, he was once considered by some to be an up and coming Pagan Leader (??!). I did not include myself in that group of believers, but then, I knew people who tried to work with him before. I know, too, that he saw himself as the true heir to the Famous Teacher. Did I mention that he and his wife both studied with this teacher, as well? (Not surprised? No, neither was I). I've watched this nice man work among us for many years now, and, in truth, he puzzles me. He is very (book) learned and is a most agreeable man. However, none of his (often sad and needy) students ever seems to get any better, healthier, more empowered or wiser then they were when they first came to him, and some of them have been with him for many years. When this happens consistantly, you have to ask "Why?".

Meanwhile, the drug addled wife was looking worse every time she was sighted. At my suggestion, she was invited to attend a Pagan Support Group run by a friend of mine. I had hopes that this group would help her to get her act together as it had helped so many others. When the wife was given the invitation, she then offered to lead the group, asserting to this person that she was an excellent Counselor and a very powerful Witch. She vowed (you can't make this stuff up, folks) that she could help those who had lost their way. She was gently told by my friend that this was a group of equals who came together to share experience, strength and hope, and that no cross-talk was allowed. If she came, she would be coming in to work on her own stuff, and she was not to try and tell other people what to do. She had no interest in this, of course, and has never attended a meeting.

And what about our Priestess, you ask? Well, she had money troubles yet again, and ended up moving from her condo (which she had owned) and renting a room from an elderly Pagan gal some months ago. Some weeks after her troubled Coven disbanded, I got a phone call from a friend telling me that her Highness had left town with her new boyfriend, leaving no notice to anyone and owing this nice Pagan woman over $2,500 in back rent. Now this woman who took her in was not rich and she depended on her renters to help pay her home mortgage, so it was a serious blow to her to be conned in this way.

Meanwhile, the other Coven, the one Miss Thing was still nominally leading, was in a tizzy over her absence. They called the Famous Teacher for help. This would be the guy who had taught this woman, initiated her, raised her to the level of 3rd Degree and sent her out into the world with that authority. He (no surprise) had no idea what she was up to, and told others to let him know if and when she came back into town.

Four weeks later, she shows up to announce that she is moving to another town with her new boyfriend and his soon to be ex-wife and will be living with both of them in their home. I didn't ask about that situation - I don't want to know.

Eventually, she did return to town, if only to get her stuff. I understand that the Famous Teacher then had a few words with her and that she was stripped of her leadership in the other Coven (which would have happened in any case, since she was leaving town.) I still have no idea if she retains her 3rd degree status, but I imagine that she will tell people she has it, and use this Teacher's name in vain, as well. Serves him right, in a way, as she is his creation.

I have no idea if the other woman ever got her back rent. I hope so. Again, to be fair to the Famous Teacher, I'm betting that he insisted on it. He may not be wise by my way of thinking, but I do think he's honest.

Well, that's the end of the story as far as I know it. No one is speaking to the couple in question and no one, it seems, misses their former Leader. Perhaps next time the people from this Coven won't wait for someone else to do something, but will do it for themselves. We can hope.

May the Goddess save us all from any more such "High" Priestesses.

Sia

(1) A British friend of mine read this note about his teaching style and replied to my sarcasm this way: "No. It's a 'movie Zen' trick you can get away with once, and it's taught by arseholes in a lost Tibetan valley." I think he summed it up, perfectly.

(2) We all miss you, Steve. Go in peace.

Notes to a New Witch

Lately, I was asked for advice by a new witch in Southern California who asked for advice on attending a Pagan convention. Here is what I wrote:

Cameras: Bring your camera, if you like, but do not take pictures of anyone without getting their permission first and do not take pictures at a dance or a ritual without first getting permission from the Organizer. Any good Organizer will make an announcement re pictures before the ritual starts. If they don't, ask them what they rules are, in case anyone wants to take a picture of you. Some Organizers are better than others, and you have to take care of yourself, here.

Magical Names:

That's your call. Some of us have names that are private and others that are public and these are entirely different. The Goddess might have another name for you, which she might not tell you until you meet her on the other side...who knows? At that point, we may be told all the names you have ever had, and that could take a while. You can have more than one name in the Craft, if you want, even concurrently. More on that at another time.

Superstition vs Metaphysics

No one has power over you unless you give it to them. Names, hair, curses, etc have no power except in superstition. I think it's sweet, and very special, too, to have a name that just between you and Her, but I don't see it as a requirement, nor do I agree with the Priestess who taught that you have to "protect yourself" against the use of your "true name". Mysteries are all well and good, but some of these traditions date back to times when we had to protect one another, and many have more to do with secret societies in the 18th & 19th centuries (and Gerald Gardner's love of play acting) then they do with real metaphysics. For more on this see Ronald Hutton's book "The Triumph of the Moon". This is real Pagan history by real Pagan scholar, yea verily. The rest of what is written about the Craft is often charming, but it's mostly wish fulfillment. Not history, but fantasy. Trust not the Pagan book that hath not detailed footnotes and complete bibliography! Worthy Authors Useth Only First Sources, damnit. Too many modern "Pagan writers" are lazy and just quote each other and this shoddy scholarship does no one any good.

Boundaries:

Please have your magical and social boundaries well in place before you get to the Con (or any Pagan event, for that matter). There is a lot of energy about, and you'll need to center and clear every day, both morning and evening. Lavender or any kind of citrus oil is good for this, if you don't like using sage. Some people who go there do not have good boundaries themselves (thankfully, these are becoming a minority now - most of the Pagans who attend these days actually have jobs and most are functional adults - what a concept). In any case, put your shields up, Mr. Spock, and keep 'em up the whole time. Get to know people a bit before you trust them. Don't go by what they say - trust your gut and watch what they do and who they hang out with.

Recording the Journey

I recommend that you take a spiral bound notebook and record your impressions. List who you meet and where and why you think there is or is not a connection between you. Just makes notes at the end of each day - don't bother to write it all up pretty until later (and then, only if you want to). The notes you make are a useful guide for you later, so don't let your Inner Critic/Editor play with this until later. Significance and form will be apparent to you later on. Most of what we learn, we learn in hindsight yes? In my opinion, hindsight is just as powerful as second sight and a lot more reliable.

When you meet someone, listen more than you talk. Pay attention to their Shadow sides (and yours!) and see where you can find the positive aspects with them, and the light they connect to that is within you. Think in terms of archetypes when you meet people and tell your own story of that weekend as a Quest - that might help you get both inside (feeling) and outside (judgment) which is what you need to get everything you can out of the experience. Witches' work on the boundaries, as you know, and this is partly what we mean when we talk about walking between worlds. If you want to really get out of your head, trying drawing this journey, as well. Don't worry about making art, just play with colors, symbols and stick figures. Make a Map of your road that weekend and see where it leads you. Seeing patterns and connections is a great deal of Witchcraft. Now, I'm going to be a bit blunt and rather harsh here - I hope you are OK with that. If not, you have every right to say so. Here goes: This isn't High School. It's not about being liked by the cool kids or finding a place to belong or standing out from the crowd for being "wrong" somehow. You are the cool kid, and you belong here by virtue of the fact that the Goddess picked you for her own. Remember that and honor it. Attend any function as a centered, friendly being who treats others with courtesy and kindness. Don't be overly impressed by authors, titles or experience. How long someone has been in the Craft or who initiated them, is not as important as what they have learned in that time and how they treat themselves and others. For the record: I'm not all that impressive, either, just another Witch on her journey. Most of what I've learned, I've learned by falling on my ass, getting up, and going on. Like I always say, "You get a great view from a glass house". If you put me on a pedestal by virtue of these letters, then you are setting me up to fall off one day, yes? So don't do that :-) In any case, some people go to these things for the first time as needy puppy dogs who desperately want a home, others as pompous Pooh Bahs who dress only to impress...either way, it's not an energy that invites healthy people to know them better. I'm sure you know the types I mean. In any case, water finds it's own level and you'll find some nice people there worth knowing.

Titles & Such

In my Path, (which is a Green Tradition with Taoist leanings) there is no such thing as a "High" bloody anything. We are all equal before one another and before the God and Goddess. Different ones may lead a Circle at different times, but that depends on what we want the ritual to accomplish, and who's gifts and experience are best brought to bear in that circumstance. We stand on our own two feet in this spiritual practice and we look each other in the eye. And if anyone wants to put you back down on your knees, you should bend down just long to pick up your bag, and then go out and find another teacher. On the other hand, show respect towards everyone. Practice courtesy at all times to all people, including those who don't deserve it. A polite "no" is still a "no", and it means you won't have to go back and apologise for anything else, later on. Finally, the three best rules I know are these: 1) Show up 2) Pay attention 3) Tell the truth.

Tools and such

The trappings such as stones, athames - all the tools, clothes, colors and incense, et al, are there to help you focus. What energy they have comes mainly from you. What meaning they have comes mostly from you. Any Witch worth her wand can do magic without all the tools and with only her two hands and heart, and this whenever she wants to. The secret to ritual is focus and connection. Tools are nice, but never mistake them for the real magic, which is inside. Remember Starhawk's definition of magic?. Change the inside, and the outside changes, as well. You'll notice that it dovetails with the definition of recovery. I've always liked that. I hope you can make it :-) It will be nice to meet you. Sia These note below are from earlier letters - she is having trouble finding a teacher. -------------------------- Hi, The first thing you might do is visit The Witches' Voice. The second thing is to contact our Networking Coordinator, Scoutghost: <scoutghst@sbcglobal.net> She can help you find people in your area and get started. The newsletter will, hopefully, give you some insights, as well. Also, check out the other parts of the website, including our links page, the community calendar pages, and the essays page. Be careful who you study with. Trust your gut and don't do anything you don't want to do. Any good Priestess will have her entire life in good order and balance. If she can't pay her bills or be nice to her kids, how good do you think her magic is? So use good judgment. Only 1 out of every 25 Pagans you meet will be people you'll want to know. Only 1 out of 100 will be true Tribe for you, so hang in there, go to Goddess Conferences (like PantheaCon) and you will meet the people you are supposed to meet. Best of luck on your journey :-) Sia P.S. One last thing: When I teach, I tell my students to read these books before they read any others: Wyrd Sisters
Witches Abroad
Lords & Ladies
Masquerade
These are all by Terry Pratchett. Read them in order, please. They are fiction and I'm quite serious in using them as teaching tools. Other books will tell you what they think Witches' do. Terry knows what Witches are. later, Sia ----------------- That last note seemed to hit the mark. She wrote back: dear sia...
i am sitting here at work this morning, no one is in the office yet, and i receive your email. i believe spirit is here as i was moved to tears upon reading your email. finally an answer! my husband asked me last night if i had received any answer yet and sadly to say i had to tell him no (he knows of my search). so when he calls me this morning i get to share some good news with him! i loved what you said about a teacher - because my previous teacher, spirit bless her, had some things that just didn't seem quite right and i could not ignore them any more - and your email confirms that. Based on what she had read before, I gave her these suggestions Other books & tapes.
Sacred Contracts by Caroline Myss. She's in the Pantheaon of "best teachers" along with Terry, but read Terry first. You'll see why later on. Also, her wonderful book "Why People Don't Heal & How They Can" as well as her books on Spiritual Alchemy. When it comes to magic, the power is within you, the tools only focus it. If there is spiritual or emotional static, then you need to clean that out as much as you can. It's a lifetime process, so don't get discouraged. Do you drive and have a tape deck? In that case, I recommend her tapes of her books. You can get where you are going on both senses of that word. If you are recovering from a dysfunctional family or this very dysfunctional culture, then read anything by John Bradshaw, especially "The Family". It's Imbolc and we are all cleaning our closets, both spiritually and physically. John will help you do that. Enjoy talking to Scoutghost. She is a delightful woman and if she doesn't know something, she'll tell you that and help you look. P.S. When it comes to Ritual, I agree with R.J. Stweart when he says that the simpler a ritual is, the more powerful it is. Use all the Witchcraft books as a guide, if you like, but build the altar that's meaningful to you and include pictures, toys and anything else you like. As a friend of mine says, sometimes the best prayer, is just to go outside and say "Thank you". I also recommend keeping a Gratitude List and updating it at the Pagan holidays. Better yet, update it on your worst days. Part of being a Witch is keeping perspective. This Path isn't about Command and Control. It's about Consciousness and Connection. And that's why a balanced life is the key. Going to work myself, now. Take care. Sia

Year of the Rooster

I emailed my buddy Janet (Dir., Wildlife Rescue) & Bernadette (Humane Society) today about fundraising & suggested that they do a mailing during the Lunar New Year. I sent them my notes about the Year of the Rooster and an article on working with the Asian community.

I'm writing my yearly article on the Lunar New Year for the Feb. Newsletter - thus the notes.

I also did some research yesterday on the ancient Hawaiians and what holidays they may have celebrated around the lunar calendar and I sent that along to Laura. She and I might arrange for a drumming & dance concert in future. I'd like to include her Hawaiian dancers, some of our local Belly Dancers, along with drummers from different cultures (plenty of that around here). Something to consider for 2006.

----------------

Notes - Year of the Rooster
Begins 2/9, 2005

2005 - Chinese Calendar: Year of the Green, Wooden Rooster

Roosters are symbols of protection and good fortune. (Feng Shui)

Pronunciation of the wood "Rooster" in Chinese is the same as "Good Luck".

Green = color of hope & spring, regeneration, youthful outlook, fertility, romance, abundance, prosperity.

Wood = family. Profession/business attitude & diligence will be rewarded. Pay attention to details!

Scientific achievement to production. Creativity. Emergence of new talents.

Good time to find love or form a family. Family needs to come first this year. Oddly enough, it's considered to be a bad time to get married.

"Roosters are also very peaceful birds. They guard their owners. In fact, it is a common misconception that roosters are cocky. They are only cocky for a reason."

Roosters are reliable. While they have a powerful sex drive, they are are loyal and faithful to their family. They are also guardians - don't cross the Rooster.

Good time to form new businesses or partnerships. Bad time to be lazy or careless.

Attention to detail is key - otherwise, you could miss important seeds (which symbolize new beginnings).

Whole grains for feast (no fowl of any kind!). Try to avoid meat. Food should be light.

Play with your hairstyle & with color. Let green be dominate, but allow rainbows of colors (as in a roosters tail). Use natural fabrics.

Time to be kind to animals, cherish pets, and speak up for those who can't speak for themselves. (Pet friendly bills in 2005)

Additional Notes: My We'Moon calendar arrived today (and there was much rejoicing). The Editors at We Moon choose to list as the year of the Phoenix for metaphysical reasons. As usual, they have a lovely article on the lunar New Year, and I'll quote from that.

Dysfunctional Pagans

Dj wrote a letter to a young man in San Diego in response to his article in this week's Witches' Voice. She cc'd me and the other writers noted in her letter.

Like me, Dj tends to take exception when people write grand theories without offering any practical, real-world advice to back it up.

The gentleman in question has his heart in the right place. He is only working with a group of five, after all. Over time, he'll learn what it means to do real conflict resolution and healing within Pagan groups. As it stands, the article was pretty well written; just centered in the realm of Air instead of Earth.

Sia

P.S. In this article, he cites recent articles and postings on Pagan/Christian relations. If he read my latest article at TWV ( The Christians and the Pagans) he's completely mis-read it.

He seems to think I'm arguing that we need need approval from Christians and/or for our good acts in the community. Others may be saying this on-line ... who knows? but nowhere in my article does it say that. Nor do I (or DragonLady) ever argue that we need to do good acts "to look good". But I'm going to let it go. No sense in hitting him from all sides when the bulk of his ideas are good. It's his first public essay, after all. He gets points for putting his ideas out there.

Dj's points here are well made.

-------------

Hi Johah, this is Dj in Northern California.

I am writing to say that I enjoyed reading an article where the focus was on changing ourselves.

I've worked with people in recovery for over 25 years now. Those of us who do this work know that a healthy system doesn't magically make an unhealthy person whole, unless they are willing to do the work themselves. However, a dysfunctional person can easily make a healthy system go nuts. We see this in Pagan Circles all the time and Anodea Judith addresses this in her article: Out of the Frying Pan, Into the Fire: Dysfunctional Families and Group Energy

To that end, we have created Spiral Steps four years ago. This is a support group for people in Earthwise Traditions.

I read your article carefully and I found this paragraph to be of particular interest:

"The resolution to this is to connect with and live in harmony with your gods. The gods are powerful because They know exactly who They are, and if there is one thing They are good at teaching us, it's who we are. Once you have aligned your heart with your gods, you can't help but act with their love and be open to their wisdom."

That's the ideal, of course, but you haven't addressed what "aligning your heart" means. It means a lot of bloody, hard work, for one thing, and it doesn't just happen because we wish it to. If we teach that growth and empowerment are simple, we risk adding more shame and guilt on to a People already riddled with same.

I'm glad that you addressed the issue of conflicts:

"If you are open to Divine love and wisdom, you will begin to resolve the conflicts that cause you anger, frustration, and fear. And if we all were to do that, we would realize that we don't need to fight over formalities and semantics. We would realize that we come together not to argue, but to celebrate our common spirituality."

I agree. But it isn't enough to say we need to do that. It is essential that Pagan teachers and groups show people how it can be done.

Here at Spiral Steps, we've found that a person's spiritual practice deepens and strengthens when they "clean up their act". But they must do the work from the inside out. We don't expect it to be done for them from the outside in.

Most people will avoid doing this work because it's too hard. They would rather have a love ritual or a money spell, as you've noted. Like I said, all the Circles, Gods, Pagan teaching and Rituals in the world won't make us any better, if we aren't willing to do the hard work of changing our Selves.

Robin Skynner and others in the mental health field have pointed out that people raised in unhealthy, dysfunctional systems (and that's most Pagans) can take the lessons from an healthy, empowering system (like Paganism) and read into it whatever messages they want. This can include unhealthy directions as well as justification for dysfunctional behavior. If the mind/spirit hearing the message is dysfunctional or immature, it can garble anything to it's perceived advantage. We've all seen Pagans who can and will distort any message; however noble or strong. Even direct messages from the God/ess get confused, thus the frequent justification in the Pagan community that "My Gods wanted me to do this", when it comes to justifying selfish and unhealthy behavior.

Talk to any experienced Pagan Organizer or Teacher about this, and then stand back, because they are going to have an awful lot of stories to tell you about Problem Pagans.

Most of us are working to bring healthy role models to the forefront of Pagan consciousness. You might enjoy two essays on training and responsibility - These both appeared at the Witches' Voice: The Shadow Knows and The Bard & The Poser.

So, while I encourage a deep commitment to any Path, I don't believe that just relying on Pagan teachings or ritual alone will be enough. While the Path may be strong, the people who follow it can all use a bit of support. Personal growth is essential for any effective Priest or Priestess. I think that Wren said this best in her essay on Pagans and Self Actualization.

Again, thank you for writing such a thoughtful essay. I enjoyed reading it.

Blessed Be,

Dj
Founder, Spiral Steps
http://www.spiralsteps.org

Kissing Frogs - Feminism & Pagan Spirituality

Interesting article at TWV today. She did a nice job articulating the best arguments of the last 30 years. It never hurts to say this stuff again.

I wrote to her, and cc'd the folks over at the Witches' Voice as well as some old time organizers here.

My main points are in the last three paragraphs of my letter to her. I hope she takes note of these. It's one thing to talk, but (and I asked this kindly) what is she actually doing?

----------------------

Greetings, this is Sia with Full Circle.

I am writing to say that I enjoyed reading your article on Feminist Paganism at The Witches' Voice today. I think you did a wonderful job articulating the forces of Feminism within Paganism. This is something that needs saying again and again.

I, too, am concerned when I see Feminism used as the "F Word"; especially among the younger ones, who might not know our history and who therefore don't know the way to a wonderful, rich place they can go to for empowerment and inspiration.

Out here in California we are lucky because we've had such a strong tradition of Feminist Spirituality. Most of the groups, Circles, Covens, and organizations out here were founded and are led by women. The college courses have also been strongly supportive of Women's History, Women's Spirituality, and Feminism since the 1970's and this has been a gift.

To be fair, some of the "old guard" Pagan Feminists are stuck in their ways, and the movement has since grown organically, as is natural. New groups have grown up to meet the needs of the community as it stands now, and those of us with Highest Good in mind all do our best to work together and to celebrate the gifts each group offers to the world. (Take a look at our Community Calendar and our website and you'll see what I mean).

I've been working within the Feminist community since 1973. I've been active in the Goddess community since 1983 and in the Neo-Pagan community since 1993. I've heard an awful lot of rhetoric in that time. I no longer listen to the talkers, but I choose to work with those who walk the walk. Happily, there are a lot of Organizers who are doing a great deal to make these changes you describe a reality. They have always had this vision, and they do the hard slogging, daily work without much praise. To them, the regard of those they respect is (and has to be) enough.

As for me, I've learned to take the emails we get and the silly notes you see at places like Wren's Nest with a ton of salt. An over-abundance of whiners, complainers, and critics write in to these things. Those who are thoughtful and are doing the work at hand usually don't have the time or the interest to be posting at such places. When they do, they do so thoughtfully, and they are worth listening to, but you have to kiss a lot of frogs, before you find these folk; acting as quiet forces for good out on their lonely lily pads.

So, I cherish the occasional voice of reason, but overall, I read these forums only as a way to diagnose the disease we encounter daily in this work. They help me to marshal my arguments, both Pro and Con, for what we do here, and they act as what the Buddhists call a "difficult gift".

I tell people who are frustrated with these forums, not to blame the Hosts for what one see's there. As much as I hate the whining and stupidity I read at Wren's Nest, I think she provides a valuable service by letting us air our dirty laundry in public - how else will we know what needs cleaning? So, I'm glad that that these posts inspired you to take your anger and use it to write an article stating what you believe. I am hoping that they don't get to you.

In closing, I would like to say again that you've made some points that we've all been making for a long time now and that you've done a splendid job. As you've seen, there is still a great need for articulate voices like yours on these subjects, and I'm glad that you stood up in a public forum and said this. Brava.

One thing I would like to see in your articles in future is a Bio at the end. I checked your listings at The Witches' Voice and saw nothing there nor did I see anything in the article. So, I came away from your writing knowing what you thought, and read and what influenced you, but I didn't know what it is that you actually do. I think a list of your work within the local, Pagan and Feminist communities might inspire others and I would encourage you to note that for the benefit of others who might want to follow your example.

Hang in there & Blessed Be,

Sia

Wither Full Circle?

Newsletter: The January 05 newsletter went on-line today. It includes the notice about our search for a Co-Editor to work with Snakemoon.

Snakemoon and I spoke on the phone for about an hour yesterday. It's always a pleasure to talk with her - we get a lot of work done and we laugh a lot.

We both have a lot of plans for the newsletter (including a redesign of the website, using DreamWeaver). Most of these plans are subject to our schedules and those of the volunteer staff.

We'd like to implement the on-line questionnaires this year. Snakemoon wants to begin with questions about our reader's lives, values and politics. Should be interesting. I think that we have more conservative Pagan readers then she does. We'll see.

We also have a Pagan scholar (a Professor at Cal State Chico) who is doing research on our community for her next book, and she'd like to get into the act.

Right now, Snakemoon is working on a book for her work, and my schedule is as full as it can be. We both had a rough time of it in 2004. As a result of all this, we are each guarding our free time very, very carefully. Whatever we do in 2005 will require more capable volunteers and, possibly, the help of a new web designer.

We've both wanted to update the FCE Links pages, so that we have a standing record of sites & information we think is useful to our members. We've got hundreds of links to add, all valuable. The trouble is finding the time (and the help) to do that.

It's tempting to do more ourselves (as usual) since finding volunteers, interviewing, training, communicating and keeping standards high can be so darn time consuming....but that way lies madness.....and Burnout.

Sharing power isn't the problem. Finding people who will accept responsibility and meet deadlines, is.

Ad Revenue?: This weekend, I hope to install Google's AdSense on the FCE site - I've got a meeting with Captain Lightning about this on Saturday. If this works, it might pay for the website fees, which would be nice. This is a pilot program for Google, as well as for us.

Spiral Steps: Meanwhile, Dj is talking to the folks at the Santa Clara Spiral Steps meeting. They want to take a group conscious (their phrase) and vote on whether or not to make this an open meeting. Molly, the host, has OK'd this. Now it's up to the members as to whether or not they wish to take this chance.

Meanwhile, there's still the issue of The Witches' Ball.

For the Birds

Wren's Nest had a nice article up today on making bird freeders out of coffee cans:

I added a comment with some links to the bottom of the article at WN. I may add to these notes and put them in the Feb. newsletter. I've always wanted to make a For the Birds page at FCE and Feb/March is a good time for that.

I'd like to include notes on why Valentine's Day occures in February and why our holidays celebrate life during such a cold, dark season (it has to do, in part, with ancient fertility rituals, which in turn relate to lambing season and the fact that this is when birds begin mating).

Comments at WN:

Wonderful article! Thank you, Wren.

Here in California, we like to make Healthy Seed Bells for birds and hang them in the trees. It's a nice project for kids and it's easy to do - This is also a nice thing to add to your rituals in February & March.

My Mom lives in Southern Oregon and they've had snow there this winter. She keeps her seed feeders full for the yellow finches and the juncos. She also put out the occasional pine cone hung upside down with peanut butter on the underside of the seed scale. Suet is also very good for them and you can find it on sale for about $1.00 a bar at most bird & feed stores.

Here is a note for you pine cone lovers:

Re: Hummingbirds.

Most are gone by now on migration (unless it is an Anna's Hummingbird, which live where we are) but you might see some and they do need food (and no, keeping the feeder full won't stop them from migrating - that is a myth) However! hummingbird feeders should be taken down and cleaned every 3 days or the sugar mixture become moldy and kill the birds!

Hummingbirds can go into a state of torpor during cold temperatures. In this state, they might appear to be dead. The hummingbird can conserve energy this way. As soon as the bird warms up, it will revive and all of its functions will return to normal. If you find a hummingbird hanging upside down on your feeder in the morning, do not assume that it is dead.

My hummingbirds love my sages, lavender, and rosemary plants. My Waverly sages are blooming right now and they feed the birds all winter. I like gardening for Hummingbirds; it's easy and your garden is alive and healthy all year long.

Happy Birding!

Sia

Pagans On The Move

Finished my bit for the January '05 newsletter today and sent it on to Snakemoon. We'll publish in the next few days.

Among other things, we've announced that Full Circle is now listed as Civic Group in the American On The Move Program. This program is free and available to all. You can tour the website and take a tour before you decide if you want to join.

The America On The Move Program is designed to help you develop a healthier, more energetic lifestyle by making 2 minor changes: moving 2000 more steps and eating 100 fewer calories each day. You can log your activity (via steps or by noting exercise, like gardening or walking the dog), track your progress, learn from news and informative articles, and find healthy recipes.

This website also lets you virtually “walk” a famous American trail using a pedometer to count your daily steps along the route. I am currently walking the Appalachian Trial and friend of mine is traveling in the shoes of Lewis and Clark. It’s fun and it’s easy to do, especially if you have a friend or a partner doing it, too.

Once you are a member you can use the Pace Setters page to see how others at Full Circle are doing. We hope that this will further inspired you to get on the move. You can also use the Match Mates page to email friends with encouragement and arrange Walking Clubs in your area.

The Full Circle Registration Code is: RFU18067

To join, complete the following instructions:
1. Go to www.americaonthemove.org
2. Click “Join now”
3. Select “individual” registration
4. Use the Full Circle registration code: RFU18067
5. Follow the instructions on the screen to complete your registration.

You can use your real name or a Craft name if you prefer and you do not have to give out your phone number or address. Also, you do not have to identify as a Pagan to join this group. We’ve signed on as a Civic Group and all are welcome.

We also recommend that our members visit Dr. Weil’s website for information on healthy eating, vitamins, alternative health care information and inspiration. Becoming conscious of what we eat and how it affects our health and our mood is half the battle, and we think that this site can help. I get the daily newsletter and I’ve found that it helps me keep motivated to eat right and reduce my level of daily stress

Sia

Animal Sacrifice

It may be time to write an article on this issue.

Fair Warning: The article linked to below is not for sensitive people.

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Someone wrote: "If sacrificing a rooster, or kitten (yuck) , is part of the accepted practices of a particular faith who are we to comdem it?"

I wrote this reply, and DragonLady posted it:

We are the very people who will speak out against it because Witches speak for those who cannot speak for themselves.

State Laws against animal cruelty are upheld, as long as they are neutral (i.e. they do not specifically target a religion, but prohibit anyone for doing this).
Reasons include:

* the health risk of animal sacrifices to participants,
* the emotional injury to children who witnessed the sacrifices,
* the need to protect animals from unnecessary killings,
* and the need to restrict the slaughter of animals to areas zoned for slaughterhouse use

According to the First Amendment Center and other experts, if the law is written correctly, the prohibition of ritual sacrifice IS constitutional. (see link). So yes, we can ban this.

Torture and blood sacrifice is not culture. It is not religion. It is not sacred on any level. Anyone, and I mean anyone, who wants to sacrifice a kitten is welcome to state that publicly. Just tell us when and where. I will make some phone call and among the people who will arrest you will be some Pagans Cops and Pagan Animal Control Officers.

Those of us who work to protect these creatures have no patience with woolly-minded thinking like this. Grow up and do some good in this life and stop being part of the problem.

If you want to hunt in an ethical fashion, fine. But if you want a blood sacrifice, use your own. No Warrior God/ess respects cowards and fools. And they don't take bribes.

Sia

P.S. If you actually want to learn something about Animal Rights Law, then read the attached link on the legality of animal sacrifice in the U.S.

P.S.S. Some cultures take a young boy's member and split it down the middle as part of their right of manhood. It's call subincision. If you want to make a real sacrifice and you are an adult, you might want to try that one. Or is it just the pain of other creatures that you support?

Pagan Issues: Money, Food & Health

Quite a tizzy over at Wren's Nest today over an article on Debt and the Divine: Dj weighed in, among others.

She is going to write several articles now for TWV on Pagans & Money, Pagans & Food Issues, etc. This will later be published over at Spiral Steps and used in a book by her on Pagans & Recovery.

She says that the Spiral Step meetings are going well. They've had the usual spike in attendance due to the common New Year and new members are coming in all the time. It's hard to get some new meetings going, though. People all want to go to an existing meeting, but few people want to do the work (and take the responsbility) of starting a new meeting on their own. It is quite a committment. Same old story, though. "Gee, I'd love to go, if only someone would make it all happen for me." If you want it, folks, then you are going to have to do some of the work to build it.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch: I've signed FCE up as a Civic Group with America On The Move, a website designed to help people find the right energy and food balance. I wrote to the FCE Friend's list today and asked those who were interested to join the FCE group (instructions below). This is free.

Memo to Short List:

Good morning :-) This is Sia. We are trying a new experiment over at FCE. We have signed up as a Civic Group on a website that helps people get moving in the New Year. The idea is balanced energy & healthy eating - nothing drastic or crazy. No fees. No weird lists. Nutritional info - no diets. This is meant to help people be more conscious about their use of energy during the day. We all know how hard it can be to put our own health on the top of our "To Do" list

If you have time, I would ask that you sign up in the FCE group, try it for a bit, and give me your honest opinion. You can use a nickname (or Craft name) if you prefer - You do not have to put down an address or phone. We are listed as a Civic Group for greater inclusion and privacy reasons. I'd like to know if you folks think that this would be a healthy & useful thing to offer to our larger membership.

You can use a pedometer and list your daily steps, or simply list your activity per day. If you like this then we can add in walking groups around your town, where people can meet on a regular basis for exercise.

Thank you for helping us evaluate this website.

NOTE: If this doesn't interest you, please *do not* feel obliged in any way. Once you have tried it for a bit, please send any thoughts you may have to us care of this address.

Best regards,

Sia

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Directions:

1) go to http://www.americaonthemove.org
2) Click "Join Now"
3) Select "Individual" registration
4) Use Full Circle's Registration Code which is RFU180675) Follow the instructions on the screen to complete your registration.
---------------------

Now...where I have put that (bloody) pedometer?

Pagan Garage Sale

Talked to Molly on the phone today. We both like to clean house for Imbolc and this includes our Pagan closets. So we've decided to host a Pagan Garage Sale for FCE. We'll include some shiny things from our friends, as well. This will be a small, casual benefit event for Full Circle.

The Pagan Garage Sale will take place in February, just after the holiday, at the Rec Room at Molly's place. I listed this event on the Full Circle calendar today. Just for fun, I've listed our Pagan lady organizers as Wryd Sisters. Molly can be Nanny Og, I'll be Granny WeatherWax and Wendy can be Magrat.

I've asked Molly to be on the Council this year and I've given her some time to decide. I wonder what she'll say?

I wrote to the Short List today and invited some friends to donate some special items or just drop by and visit. The event will last from 10 - 3.

Owlwind - Our Nature Guru

We have a Nature Guru here at Full Circle. She takes us all out on hikes which helps us urban types learn more about the nature around us here in the Bay Area. She was with us at our Staff Retreat last year at Gaia's Oasis in the Sierra foothills and she taught us all a lot. At night, we'd all gather in our deck chairs near the lake to watch the bats hunt insects at sunset ....All those beautiful fliers up there against a red sky....It's one of my favorite memories.

Now, I'm pretty good at seeing animals in the wild, but Owlwind is so good, it's spooky. When we go on a hike together, it's like a Disney movie. All the birds and animals see her and say, "Wow! Owlwind is here!" and then then all come out and say 'hi'. It doesn't happen like that unless she's with me....go figure.

I found a nice poster at Cafepress recently that shows track marks for North American animals. I'll send it to Snakemoon for the newsletter.

Note to self: Go back to Gaia's Oasis with Owlwind for another Art Retreat and Drumming Weekend. We did that, just the two of us, one April and it was splendid.

Other Note to Self: The last time I was there, Full Circle presented them with a fountain in the shape of Demeter. I'll have to ask them where they put it and how it looks.

This year, Owlwind and I are going hiking and birding together most Saturdays. I'm looking forward to more of those Disney moments.

Sia